@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com cover
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

yourautisticlife

@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com

🏴󠁣󠁡󠁱󠁣󠁿🇨🇦🇺🇸 I'm an #ActuallyAutistic white male-presenting #enby (#nonbinary, he/they/she). Self-dx. Late-dx. I discovered that I was probably on the spectrum in March 2023. I believe that it is my #cancer that altered my #brain in such a way that I am less able to #mask now.

I'm also a #Zen #Buddhist, #pansexual, #polyamorous, and into #BDSM.

Je parle aussi #français. (Le tabarnak de drapeau noir est supposé être un drapeau du #Québec.)

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. View on remote instance

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

My post yesterday about delayed processing of anger was not happenstance.

My ex-bf did something on Friday that showed he has no regards for my feelings. In my book, he effectively lied about why he did not want to be with me. If you have feelings of déjà vu, you're right on the money. This is similar to what happened with the ex-gf I called my sweetest success, and my bitterest failure. She lied about our breakup.

I was raging with anger yesterday. If we had an interaction I would have rained hellfire on the boy.

What would I have accomplished? I would have made a bad situation even worse. Oh, I would have felt a dose of self-satisfaction, but at what cost? It wouldn't have fixed anything.

I expect we're going to talk again. I expect that when we do, instead of raining hellfire, I'll express my hurt and my disappointment. Truth be told, even if I had rained hellfire, I would have expressed my hurt and my disappointment, but a message embedded in a thick layer of hellfire is unlikely to be heard.

I'm going also to tell him that the friendship between him and I is over. I can't abide liars. I can't abide people who are blind to my feelings.

Maybe those who decide to cut contact with me after a breakup are onto something. If they lied about our breakup, those lies could be exposed.

I've written about the uselessness of anger before:

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/04/06/anger-this-unwanted-and-useless-guest/

I'm not ready to declare all anger to be useless, but right now, it is.

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I think the evidence is mounting that in some circumstances I can be rather slow to process emotions.

Sometimes it is not until the day after something happened that I get angry. During this "something" I keep a placid demeanor. This demeanor is not a strategy or a conscious decision.

Then, the next day, I realize how this very thing gives rise to emotions, often anger.

I'm wondering if it relates to alexithymia. I'm not confused about what I feel, but the feeling may get delayed.

Or maybe it is a combination of:

  • people pleasing,
  • autistic inertia,
  • alexithymia

Just thinking out lout about one of my characteristics here.

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

You're gonna laugh.

You're gonna cry.

Well, maybe not.

I've got myself some Sony WH-1000XM4 noise-canceling headphones, fully expecting that I'd be returning them.

Haha....

I don't think I'll be returning them.

They are definitely a superior pair of headphones to my Anker Life Q30 Hybrid.

They block more of the outside noise. They also have more features than the Anker.

I have more tests to run before a final verdict.

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I had a strange experience last night.

Usually, when I fall asleep there are gaps in my consciousness. It goes: awake, gap, dream, gap, awake.

In other words, there is no continuity of consciousness between the wakeful state and the dream state.

However, last night there was a continuity. I was able to have conscience of myself falling asleep, entering dreamland, dreaming, coming out of dreamland, and being awake again. This cycle repeated itself three times.

Previously, the closest I came to this was that sometimes I'd be conscious of pulling back at the last minute. In this case, I wouldn't actually fall asleep, I'd progressively go towards sleep, but pull back at the last minute.

I wondering if it has anything to do with autism.

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

"It’s past time to stop using the Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test"

I did part of the test a while back, mostly as a joke. I was watching a YouTube video in which an autistic person was showing pictures from the test.

This article makes a convincing argument as to why the test is complete bullshit.

Any "professional" who uses it to decide if someone is autistic is a fraud. Same if they use it to prove that autistic people lack of theory of mind.

https://www.thetransmitter.org/spectrum/its-past-time-to-stop-using-the-reading-the-mind-in-the-eyes-test/

everyday_human , to actuallyadhd group
@everyday_human@beige.party avatar



@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

Ok so what are some signals and reasons for signals that’s your partner wants you to do something?

Perhaps it’s the way they hold their coffee or change thier tone or give you looks to let them know what you want or what they are trying to signal to your brain to essentials observe and understand what’s going to happen next

It can be anything I’m curious if any couples made any cognitive life hacks 😵‍💫😒

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@everyday_human

Here's an example of what does not work: glaring at your autistic spouse.

My ex-wife has ADHD, but we did not know that I was autistic, and we never discussed neurodivergence in our household.

She'd be annoyed. She'd communicate this annoyance by glaring. I'd fail to perceive it. She'd accuse me of deliberately ignoring her. I'd accuse her of inventing her glares.

I begged her to be explicit, but she couldn't. She was 20 years older than I am, and she said that's how she was raised.

🤷

Our marriage managed to last 22 years. It is when she retired, and I was home in earnest that things started going bad for us.

Actually, I was thinking about this this morning. We bought the last house we lived in from another couple that was or had divorced. I think the house is cursed. :madjoy:

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

lifewithtrees , to actuallyadhd group
@lifewithtrees@mstdn.social avatar

“What do you want to do 5 years from now?”

🤔

😬

🤯

I am having a difficult time visioning 5 years from now, what I want to do and then how to get there.

Some of this is due to the chaos of the last few years, but I also think it could be a challenge due to

Also I am 42 so midlife stuff?

That all said, how do you vision 5 years from now?

@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@lifewithtrees

5 years ago, I was:

  • A man. I'm now nonbinary, and consequently also trans.

  • I passed as straight. I'm actually pansexual. I knew this, but few other people know.

  • Monogamous. I'm actually polyamorous.

  • Vanilla. I'm actually into BDSM.

  • Neurotypical. I'm actually autistic.

  • A heart attack survivor. I'm now a heart attack and a cancer survivor.

  • Married. I'm now divorced.

  • A software engineer. I'm now a writer and a tutor.

I have no clue where I'm going to be in 5 years.

@mystickal @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

LehtoriTuomo , to ActuallyAutistic group
@LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

One reason why it took me so long to self-diagnose autism is that I thought I don't stim. In fact, once I learned that I do stim, my self-diagnosis process kicked in. That was the first time I said to myself that I might actually be autistic.

The reason for this misunderstanding was that I thought stimming is stereotypical, very repetitive, compulsory movement. I guess this misunderstanding is quite common.

I've since learned that stimming, short for self-stimulatory behavior, is basically stimulating one's sensory system in certain ways. It may be a way to soothe oneself, help to focus in overwhelming situations by feeding one's brain predictable sensory input, a way to express joy, or simply something that feels nice. Movements are part of it but any sense can be used.

When googling the term, there are mentions that also neurotypicals stim but that when diagnosing autism, stimming is somehow different -- only socially unacceptable stims are "real" stims. Bah.

I've started paying attention to how and when I stim, and collect a list of stims I do. I've noticed all types of stimming behavior (soothing, focusing, joy, fun). I do it more than before -- or maybe I just notice it more often. I've noticed that I love moving my body parts, especially to music. I also love different textures.

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@LehtoriTuomo

Yes, music is my main stim. When ever I can, I have some music on.

My earlier stims also tended to be socially acceptable. When I did my homework in my room, I'd tap my desk in rhythm to the music. I just looked like someone enjoying the music.

My stims are more diverse post self-diagnosis.

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I've explained before that when I stim to music, and I'm ambulatory, I walk in rhythm to the music.

I even do this when I'm waiting in line for something.

Lucky for me that John Cage's 4′33″ hasn't come up yet while I was in a line. It would be a bit annoying to have to explain my lack of movement to the people behind me in the line.

😬

adelinej , to Random
@adelinej@thecanadian.social avatar

I have just watched the 1st episode of A Kind of Spark thanks to @PetitPas

It’s a Irish British American Canadian series. In Canada I’m watching it on CBC Gem, in the UK it seems to be on the CBBC channel, for the others countries I don’t know.

I like it because the 3 autistic sisters are played by autistic actors, use of the words autistic, masking, meltdown. etc. Shows sensory overload, etc., ignorance and bias.

To watch it in Canada https://gem.cbc.ca/a-kind-of-spark

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@adelinej

I'm 4 episode into the series.

I like how matter of fact they are about autism. Some shows will introduce an autistic character and then start giving lectures about what it means.

The main character has a friend who appears to not know much about autism, so sometimes there are explanations, but these explanations are not front-loaded.

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

Remember how I said that my needs for sleep change without rhyme or reason?

I no longer sleep with white or brown noise, and I no longer sleep hugging my squishmallow.

Why?

🤷

My nights have improved remarkably since I stopped doing this.

The rest of my ritual hasn't changed.

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I've seen people use the NPR@press.coop address.

For the sake of people who don't know, NPR@press.coop is a bot. The messages sent to that address are not read by anyone. I presume they are immediately discarded.

I've defederated from the entire press.coop site because it is just a collection of bots.

I am in favor of the press being in the fediverse, but only if they are here fully, and can answer our messages.

LehtoriTuomo , to ActuallyAutistic group
@LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

It's funny to think how many autistic traits I found in me ages ago but still never connected the dots. For instance, info dumping or "changing the topic to me".

I learned long ago that info dumping is love language used by autistic people, sharing something one feels passionate about with another. However, since NTs don't feel the same way, I've toned down this habit a lot.

As for talking about one's own experiences, it's a form of showing sympathy and connecting with the other person. I didn't understand this on my part and hated how I did it. In some Ally McBeal episode there was a scene where someone (Biscuit maybe) told Ally that she managed to turn the topic to herself in record time of six seconds. I used this as an inspiration in song lyrics I once wrote: "Six seconds was the record / I guess I beat it this time / You wanna hear the story line?" As you may guess, I've repressed this trait of mine as well.

I wonder in which other ways I'm masking without realizing it...

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@LehtoriTuomo

The more I think about it, the more I think the drive to talk about one's own experiences comes from the realization that we do not all perceive the world in the same way.

For some of us, it can be very evident early on. If I am easily overstimulated by noise, and I see that others around me are not so stimulated, what does it say about our experience of the world?

We just don't perceive the world in the same way.

If my friends do not perceive the world in the same way that I do, what right do I have to make generalizations? Instead, I explain things from my own point of view.

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I started taking magnesium yesterday. It seems to have had an effect on my toe twitches. My toes used to twitch quite a bit, but they don't anymore. Time will tell whether the magnesium is responsible for this change.

For sleep, not dice so far. It hasn't made any change. However, there were unusual factors working against me last night.

  1. Went to an event, where I had humus, and that gave me reflux. I probably should have taken a PPI preemptively. I woke up in the middle of the night, took emergency Tums (the generic kind), got my wedge pillow, and went back to sleep.

  2. I video chatted with a prospective partner last night just before bed. I was a tad excited. 😂

alexisbushnell , to Random
@alexisbushnell@toot.wales avatar

Just watched the Autism From The Inside video about the SciShow episode.

Really great response video IMO. I've sent it as a reply to the We're Here email list too in the hopes it does make its way to the SciShow team and folks are listened to.

Video is here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bYPdc2cT-E

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@alexisbushnell

Great video. I was happy to see the square peg into a round hole metaphor being used.

I used it in a different context. I was arguing against hiding an autism diagnosis from children:

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/04/20/do-not-condemn-your-child-to-a-life-of-confusion/

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

Have folks tried magnesium for sleep? What's your experience been?

The last time my magnesium level was checked, it was during chemo in 2021. It was "normal." However, I'm not convinced that "normal" is always fine for everyone.

None of the usual medicines have worked for me, even melatonin. The only thing that works reliably is THC right now.

yourautisticlife OP ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@najai

I'm prepared to be disappointed. I suspect that it is like everything else, works for some, not for others.

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife OP ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@KoosPol

The study you linked to did not control for neurodirvergence. It is important that research for autistic conditions be done with autistic subjects, because we do have unusual or paradoxical reactions to medicines. (Actually this is true of all ND folks.)

An example: the famotidine that send me into a depression in summer 2022 did this because of my autism. My doctors were entirely unhelpful.

There are studies suggesting that magnesium is useful for sleep, irrespective of whether the person is ND or not, and some that say that ND people can benefit from it.

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife OP ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@KoosPol

😂

@actuallyautistic

LehtoriTuomo , to ActuallyAutistic group
@LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

I attended a party yesterday. As usual, I had trouble following people's conversation due to the background noise, zoning in and out. Suddenly I started thinking whether this is an autistic thing. I self-diagnosed last fall. Before that, I've just always assumed everyone has trouble hearing in those situations. Now I started wondering whether NTs can actually direct their attention to the discussion better in those situations. Any thoughts?

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@LehtoriTuomo

As others have said, it is a condition related to autism. I do have it. I refer to it as an undiagnosed auditory processing disorder.

I'm also partially deaf in the left ear. This bit has been diagnosed.

Regarding the loops, YMMV. I did not like them. I had the Quiet and the Engage. Neither satisfied me.

@Aerliss @actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@twan

Yeah, I'm not in an office environment, and I aim never to return into an office.

Some people do swear by them.

@LehtoriTuomo @Aerliss @actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I've just republished an article I wrote one year ago about loneliness.

Funny thing...

I was not setting out to take stock of how I had evolved over one year, but that's what happened.

I'm in a much better situation now than I was last year. I'm less lonely than I was.

It is not perfect. For one thing, I wrote my article just before my girlfriend at the time stabbed me through the heart. That was extremely hard to take.

My partners still come and go...

However, my move closer to the city has been extremely beneficial. I'm doing much better than I used to.

🥳

innervisioner , to ActuallyAutistic group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Interesting study on & , particularly around the effects of lack of sleep & anxiety on the brain.

If you’re into , it’s worth experimenting with L-tyrosine, L-glutamine & definitely melatonin.

Never knew definitively that ASD folk lack melatonin, that would explain sleep issues!

Top tip: Always try to sleep well before midnight as inflammatory increase massively then and cause much more damage.
@actuallyautistic

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8615882/

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@innervisioner

I've tried a bunch of dosage for melatonin. It did nothing, nothing at all.

I haven't tried the rest.

The thing that works best for me right now is THC and CBN.

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I'm about to take rutin for reasons unrelated to autism.

However, among the things it is supposed to treat are autistic symptoms.

This is news to me.

Has anyone used rutin and noticed a difference in the conditions related to autism?

Thanks.

yourautisticlife OP ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@punishmenthurts

Fair enough. However, that it supposedly works for autism is something that I got from a general health websites, and when I searched I found research, but I did not feel like figuring whether it was relevant or not.

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife OP ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@felyashono

I'm as vague as they were. 🤷

@actuallyautistic

ImmedicableME , to ActuallyAutistic group
@ImmedicableME@mastodon.online avatar

Last week I learned what it’s like to go into a full autistic shutdown. It was hard to talk, move, think, feel. The weirdest thing: my partner kept hugging me and all I could think was, why is she touching me? When I looked it up, it was a shock to see that this is a completely typical experience when we reach a certain point of overload. It’s not the first time I’ve experienced a shutdown, just the first time I’ve known what it was. Still so much to learn. @actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@ImmedicableME

I'm wishing you speedy recovery. Thank you for the report. I'm not familiar with shutdowns.

I might have experienced burnout at the time of my cancer, but I'm not sure about this.

I used to say that I did not experience meltdowns, but I now think this is a lie. I experience them, just very rarely.

@actuallyautistic

Zumbador , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@actuallyautistic
Not asking for advice:
So far my experiment with cannabis to ease anxiety hasn't been successful. Not sure if it's worth continuing. As usual alexythemia and poor interoception makes it difficult to evaluate how things affect me.

I tried a very low dose of indica edible from a reputable provider. It makes me sleepy and uncoordinated, and definitely enhances my visual thoughts (which are already quite intense) it's like the resolution is turned up, I can see more details when I imagine things. But I think it also increases my anxiety.

I sleep worse with it - I take longer to fall asleep, and my sleep seems shallow. I also have more of those horrible startling-awake moments that happen when I'm very anxious.

Other things that help people sleep also don't work for me so maybe this is not surprising. For example sleeping pills don't make me sleepy melatonin doesn't either.

Not asking for advice, just sharing my experience.

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@Zumbador

Wow! Maybe it is our propensity to get unusual or paradoxical reactions that causes this result.

I'm my experience, dosage can be critical. Both me and my ex-wife experienced THC overdose. It wasn't life-threatening, but it was terrible to feel.

I know for myself that 10mg of any strain is too much for sleep. 2.5mg is not enough. 5mg appears to be the sweet spot.

Right now, I have a few edibles at 2.5mg per chew left. I wanted to buy more, but the dispensary was out of stock. So the last stuff I got was 10mg per chew, which is fine for recreational, but too much for sleep. I still use it for sleep, but I fell a bit groggy in the morning.

Finding the right dosage takes work, and I suspect the right dosage varies per person.

Not giving advice, just reporting my experience. 😉

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I went to an autistic event again today.

We had some drama.

I should point out that I'm just an ordinary member of the group, not an organizer.

People started trickling in, and chatting. Eventually, we got to a rather large number of people, and unfortunately, we split off in three or four subgroups that were taking in parallel.

One of the members was not happy with this. He expressed repeatedly his displeasure at the fact that we were talking over each other.

At some point, he had enough and told us that this was the worst group he's been at. We were even worse than NT folks.

I actually agreed with him that our dynamic was unpleasant, but I also pointed out that I am a patient man.

That member left the group. We talked about what had just happened for a couple of minutes, and then...

... the member who left the group got his wish. The entire group took turns to talk, in an orderly fashion.

Except that the member that objected to our earlier demeanor wasn't there anymore to benefit from our new demeanor.

I had a nice time.

And again, I agreed with the member who left that our way of operating at first was unpleasant. I'm not faulting him for his reaction.

yourautisticlife OP ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@Zumbador

The person who left was just a regular member, and a new one at that.

The lady who was leading the group felt sorry that this person decided to leave.

@actuallyautistic

JeremyMallin , to ActuallyAutistic group
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

As someone who is actually autistic, should I use the ActuallyAutistic hashtag every time I talk about autism, or only sometimes, for more serious philosophical posts about autism? Or maybe only for my own personal experiences as someone who is autistic?

What do you do?

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@JeremyMallin

I use the group and the hashtag when I want contributions to remain within the community of people who are autistic.

Otherwise, if I talk about autism-related stuff, but I don't really care who responds, I use the autism or autistic hashtags.

My post this morning about dating apps for autistic folks is a good example. I did not care who answered, so I used autism/autistic.

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@JeremyMallin

I usually check the profile before taking someone the wrong way over some autistic related notion.

I hope they do the same.

I don't know if they do. 🤷

@actuallyautistic

ScottSoCal , to ActuallyAutistic group
@ScottSoCal@computerfairi.es avatar

@actuallyautistic

So I'm wondering - what's your (group your) experience with grief?
My mother died. For long and complex reasons, we hadn't spoken for years. People kept telling me the grief would kick in, but it hasn't. I was angry for a little while, but that went away. No grief, no crying. I was sad for a little while about who she might have been, for herself and for her kids, but she wasn't, and now that's gone, too.

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@ScottSoCal

Grief does not have a schedule. I did not cry when my mother died. A psychiatrist hypothesized that I had possibly pre-grieved. My mother had a difficult life. She was bipolar and alcoholic, and she was most likely an undiagnosed autistic woman too. She tried to kill herself when I was a kid. (The details are nebulous.)

I do miss her terribly. I think she'd be proud of me. (Contrary to my jerk father, who is only proud of himself.)

I did cry when my marriage ended. I did cry when I had a painful breakup. Heck, I still cry about that breakup.

Again, grief has no schedule.

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

A question about herbal tea.

Does any of you folks find that herbal tea drinking makes you sleepy? Specifically, the Honey Lavender kind by Yogi?

I'm asking because I know I've heard autistic folks say that caffeine makes them sleepy.

And we do have unusual or paradoxical reactions to drugs.

So it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to think that herbal tea could have undesirable effects.

I drank some yesterday and I had to nap four times. Between the naps, it was hard to stay awake. I haven't had any today, and I just had my mid-morning nap. I'll probably have an afternoon nap too, but that's normal.

https://youtu.be/-HOYikmC0r0

yourautisticlife OP ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@RavenLuni

No clue. I had periods of time in my life when caffeine made me sleepy too, and I don't have ADHD. I cannot explain it, other than me being autistic.

(I'm not drinking coffee right now.)

And as to why something that I took without any problems for a while suddenly would make trouble for me, I can point to my famotidine experience. I took it for a year without problem, but then I got depression from it.

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2023/12/05/when-famotidine-messes-with-your-head/

@actuallyautistic

nddev , to ActuallyAutistic group
@nddev@infosec.space avatar

A lot of people have digestive problems, and so I've jotted down some notes on how I got my digestion under control. It took me over half a century to get it sorted out; if anything I've written helps you find relief sooner than I did, that'll be fantastic.

https://write.as/fediman/how-i-tamed-my-digestion

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@nddev

I'm already going most of what you talk about here, except for the coffee... maybe I should stop drinking it for a while, and see.

I don't have huge gut issues, but my gut sometimes gets annoying.

@actuallyautistic

mraharrison , to ActuallyAutistic group
@mraharrison@mstdn.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Hi all adults over 40, who were late diagnosed like me to share experiences. What's the best thing you did once you knew?

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@mraharrison

Rescale my dreams to what I can do rather than what society wants me to do! 👍

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

Nobody latched on to the article I'm going to link to below.

So, let me ask: am I the only autistic individual who keeps comparing himself to dirtbags?

I think this originates in my need to confirm my behavior with experience. If I've never been in situation A, then I don't want to assume that I'm going to act in this or that way. Then my mind races into dark places to taunt me. "What if you acted like this type of asshole?"

When I get to have the experience of situation A, I don't act like an asshole, but my ruminations prior to that experience are no fun.

It is even worse when I say something that NT folks interpret the wrong way.

So, again, is it just me?

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/03/26/am-i-the-asshole/

catswhocode , to actuallyadhd group
@catswhocode@mastodon.art avatar

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd What's your favorite stimmy music, if any? Mine seems to be Jeff Buckley recently, but I think Led Zeppelin is another

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@catswhocode

Look at my "Stimming Is Life" playlists, and you know exactly what I stim to.

(I"m a bit miffed that YouTube still in 2024 does not allow playlists of playlists.)

https://www.youtube.com/@YourAutisticLife/playlists

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@catswhocode

You might have been replying to the wrong person. I don't have this one in my playlists. (I've listened to the original Black Hole Sun, however.)

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I'm happy to report good results with the Incredibles Snoozzzeberry 20mg CBN 100mg THC. It comes down to 2mg of CBN and 10mg of THC per edible. (Roughly, speaking.)

I've taken them recently, on two different nights, and had two good nights of sleep, without zombification the next morning.

I've used Incredibles before, but that was when I still lived with my ex-wife. At the time, I was still sleeping in an ancient bed, and I did not have my sleeping routine completely down yet.

There's also the fact that my routine needs to change from time to time for some stupid reason.

I put a link to the product. Be careful. The company makes three products that look almost the same.

https://iloveincredibles.com/our-edibles/gummy/snoozzzeberry-cbn/

#insomnia #ActuallyAutistic

hosford42 , to neurodivergence group
@hosford42@techhub.social avatar

Requirements to put in a job description to discourage or filter out autistic people:

  • Comfortable with ambiguity
  • Strong people skills
  • Good culture fit
  • Multitasking
  • A fast-paced dynamic environment
  • Bachelor's degree or better

I see these things and think you don't want my >30 years of programming and machine learning experience, or my problem-solving skills and comprehensive knowledge that had people mistaking me for one of the team's PhDs, or my solutions that have proven patent-worthy. Your loss.


@actuallyautistic
@neurodivergence

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@ScriptFanix

I don't have a problem with the word "ableism" used with autism.

You associate it with disability. I'll grant you that maybe that's the way it is for most people.

I associate it with "being able" and "being unable" in a way intrinsically linked with the person.

When I say that insisting that "real life dating" is better than online dating in all circumstance is ableist, I'm not harping on disabilities. Far from it. What makes real life dating a no-go for me is mostly that I'm pan, poly, and into BDSM. It narrows the pool quite a bit. I can't go to a local bar and hope to find someone where.

For sure, my autism adds to this, but it is not the driving factor.

I'll also say that It does not really matter whether my autism disables me because it is a "disability" or a "condition." I'm still unable to do some things.

@hosford42 @actuallyautistic @neurodivergence

ScriptFanix , to ActuallyAutistic group
@ScriptFanix@maly.io avatar

I've been actually autistically honest to my @actuallyautistic girlfriend, and now she won't talk to me.

Sometimes I wish I could lie

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@ScriptFanix

Been there, done that.

I yelled at a girl that I adored, and it reminded her of her abusive mother. I triggered her cPTSD. (For the record, she was pushing my buttons by denying ACAB and BLM.)

I had a wonderful date with a girl two weekends ago. She went silent after the date and hasn't talked to me since. I did not do anything to hurt her in this case. There was a crisis at home. I think that's why she's silent. It still grates, however.

☹️

@actuallyautistic

Zumbador , to Random
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

As far as I know, the only way to prevent a person who follows me, from seeing my posts is to block them?

Mute stops me from seeing their posts, but they can still see mine, right?

I wish there was a way to post to a group so that only others in that group can see my posts. "Followers only" is ok, but of limited use.

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@Zumbador

It's not possible. Do note also that blocking does not prevent that person from ever finding your post.

@AnneTheWriter1 @FediTips @feditips

H2O , to ActuallyAutistic group
@H2O@climatejustice.social avatar

I have a question for the #ActuallyAutistic community about smell.

How do you handle it when a loved one, someone who wants to be physically close to you in some way, has bad breath or body odor that they (and probably no one else) can smell?

My hyperosmia, which I'm really glad I have in most cases, can make my stomach turn even in the most loving moments if anything smellwise is off. How do you let someone know you need some distance and they need to brush their teeth or take a shower if they want to be physically close without hurting their feelings?

I always feel bad for saying anything, but I don't want to instead be communicating revulsion with my body language to someone who loves me. So I feel like I have to give a reason why I'm not hugging back or whatever, but even that is difficult. Any ideas?

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@H2O

For the longest time, the only person I wanted to get close to was my ex-wife. I don't recall problems with body odor, but once in a while one of us would have bad breath. I (almost) always had mints on me for this purpose. I'd offer her a mint or take a mint. Neither of us was offended.

I've had other partners since, but I don't recall it being an issue with any of them.

Then again... they did not last. 😭

@actuallyautistic

ImmedicableME , to ActuallyAutistic group
@ImmedicableME@mastodon.online avatar

Just shared two major lists of autism traits in females with someone who is wondering if they’re autistic and crying as I reread all of the things that led to me pursuing an autism diagnosis at age 48, you know, as one does. These lists literally changed my life.


@actuallyautistic

https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/?subscribe=success#subscribe-blog-blog_subscription-2

https://taniaannmarshall.wpcomstaging.com/2013/03/22/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-young-girls-with-asperger-syndrome/?amp=1

yourautisticlife ,
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@ImmedicableME

I'm a cis man, but I find a lot of those characteristics in me. I can only speculate as to why that is. I'm fairly certain this is why I went around undiagnosed until my self-diagnosis at 50.

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

You've probably noticed the shit that the user dj posted a while back to our group. Based on his spewing, I've blocked

parcero.bond

from my instance. If you were wondering if you should do the same, wonder no more. You should.

That domain spews garbage. I've checked it out and saw nothing good there, and I've also done a search in the fediverse and found messages from other admins about racist and transphobic posts originating from there.

Good riddance!

I'm going to add so that people who don't follow the group but follow the hashtag may also block that domain.

For maximum effect, petition your instance admin to have them blocked at the instance level.

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

"America’s Most Popular Autism Therapy May Not Work — and May Seriously Harm Patients’ Mental Health"

Yikes!!! I did not read the full article, but it looks like it was written by people trying to bat way above their average here.

First of all, the wording about the "most popular autism therapy" appears quite misleading to me. It is very unclear to me what goes into the set of "autism therapies." Are they therapies that need to be specifically geared towards autism? If that's the case, is there anything else than ABA which is specifically geared towards autism? Does CBT count, or not? (I was not able to find clarification in the article.)

The Mayo Clinic on therapies for autism only mentions ABA by name. It is still not clear to me if it is because ABA is the only therapy designed to deal with autism specifically, and other therapies are not mentioned because they work on a range of conditions. 🤷

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/autism-spectrum-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20352934

It's like saying that my method for giving a haircut to a ghost is the "most popular method for giving haircuts to ghosts in America." Yeah, because no one else is in the business of peddling bullshit methods.

I don't know when the push against ABA started, but it did not start this year. From the article:

"But 37 years after Lovaas’s bombshell article, researchers, therapists and autistic adults who themselves were ABA patients as children are pushing back."

Yes, do make it sound like the pushback started this year.

Still, the article also says:

"One 2018 survey found that just 5% of autists ​​— a term used by some people with autism — support the therapy, with a majority of neurotypical relatives of autistic people opposing it."

Yes, the pushback started in 2024, right?

You also see the expression "people with autism" used here. This expression or others that amount to the same thing, are used at least six times in the article. However, it also uses the terms "autistic" and "autist."

It looks like someone decided to write an article about autism, with only a rather superficial idea of what the condition entails.

https://www.the74million.org/article/americas-most-popular-autism-therapy-may-not-work-and-may-seriously-harm-patients-mental-health/

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • random
  • news
  • movies
  • leopardsatemyface
  • stillalive
  • ServerNonsense
  • istillthinkofyou
  • oneorangebraincell
  • MBBS
  • All magazines
    •